Nightmares and memories

I had the classic actor's nightmare last night - being on stage unable to recall a single line or action and it lasted for ages it seemed, up to the point of the company manager having to announce the cancellation of the performance and me apologising to the rest of the cast who all nodded and smiled the way they do in nightmares - ugh! I woke up and flushed with embarrassment before the relief of reality dawned. Not content with this my subconscious later dumped me on a film set wearing a flat cap. I seemed to be at the races and sort of knew where I was sitting but not a clue as to my character or function. I knew more than the guy next to me though who was completely at sea and panicking. I remember saying to him "It's alright, I've worked with these people before".

I know what it's all about of course; Doreen Jones the highly respected casting director had wanted to see me for a part in a new Helen Mirren vehicle and I was looking forward to it, however Sarah the agent called yesterday to say the part was only ONE LINE! We agreed to toss our heads snootily and stalk off. Doreen Jones called again saying no they really, really wanted to see me and they would bike over a script. So I got to wondering what this one line could be? Perhaps the whole thing was the story of a deaf-mute who regains the power of speech at the end and says "At last - I can TALK!!" - Yes it seems unlikely to me too. Anyway I stayed in and continued to paint the banisters and waited for the bike which didn't arrive. I am still in the dark but apparently it is on its way as I type. I think the dangling feeling contributed to the aforementioned dreamscape.

Well that and the tapas I shared last night with my wife and my two daughters (All gorgeous by the way - I am an envied man in this respect) to celebrate No.1 daughter's promotion. Oh yes and the wine. All partaken of in a fantastic new charcuterie bar and restaurant in Goodge St. called Salt Yard which I can hardly recommend highly enough. Enough already - what am I, a foodie?

I also received an email from the author and playwright Tony Coult inviting me to an event to publicise a new book of Edward Bond's plays for young people edited by David Davis called Edward Bond and The Dramatic Child. He very thoughtfully asked me because I was in a production of Bond's "The Swing" directed by Bond himself in 1976 at The Almost Free Theatre in a set of plays called A A America. It was an excoriating condemnation of racism and revenge-based punishment the climax of which saw me hanging from a swing - on which I had been executed by bullets from the audience - sloshing blood across the stage as everyone sang The Star Spangled Banner. Not shy of making a point is Edward. Tony Coult had seen this and remembered me from it. This production did make an impression on those who saw it (and possibly stained their clothes!) There has been a production of Bond's "Lear" at Sheffield recently so let us hope that we will be seeing more of his work on British stages again in the future. Unfortunately I am unable to attend the event as I have to rehearse with my band Dead Flowers whom I have let down far too often recently.

Who am I this time?!!! 

The duck is broken

Not a bad day. In the English sense. Spent reading tv scripts, written by MA students at DeMontfort University in Leicester aloud, for them to have that experience for the first time. 12 scripts in all and at least twice as many characters so I will have interesting dreams tonight! The talent is exceptional and the realisation of it after only 16 weeks a tribute to their tutor Jim Hill who has held most positions in TV drama in his time but has always been a champion of the writer. There were at least three contributions which I would love to see produced right now. Working with three terrific acting colleagues, thinking on the spot, making it up, going wrong, playing parts one would never be cast as in a million years, it was a great work out for the owld brain box and heart strings combination. We got a free lunch, we get paid (eventually) and went to the pub for a bit after. A kind of heaven.
And hey, whaddya know? I got the psychic job on "Family Affairs" (see last post) so we don't have to sell the house this month (maybe next) and I've broken my four month duck.

You know you've really arrived when.....

Slogged down to Merton and went to Talkback Thames for the "Family Affairs" interview. There is a spot of refurbishment going on and not before time I think I can say without fear of contradiction, a shed is a shed when all's said and done no matter how big it is. So I picked up the script and was ushered into a shed within a shed posing as 'The Green Room'. To be fair there is actually some green paint on the bits which are painted. An older actor, waiting for a car I think, leaned over to me and said - "You know you've really arrived when you work here". It's a nice role, just two episodes playing a reluctant psychic. I met for the first time the utterly charming casting director Amanda Frend (I'm not just saying that) and we were soon chatting like old friends (which means nada but it's always pleasant), we agreed on how the part should be approached and I read for the camera. Then Roderick Smith left the building (shed). All in all quite a pleasant experience which is a bonus these days and more than I expect. I didn't feel the need to rush into town and buy something for myself with money I haven't got which is a common reaction to interview stress. I hope to hear by the end of the week.

I WILL PREVAIL

I have been struggling for DAYS with my antediluvian computer. You may know that I make showreels for actors sometimes. To keep up with the 21st C. I really should be able to put these down on DVDs not just tapes. I am reluctant to fork out large sums for all new software so have been trying to make quality DVD files from my existing AVIs with downloaded cheap stuff. Suffice it to say whenever I make a breakthrough I am presented with a new glitch to sort out. I WILL PREVAIL. Nuff said.
I wouldn't normally bore you with the domestic but last evening was nearly perfect of it's kind. A robust bottle of wine, bangers and mash (smithstylie), a visit from our good friend Mr. Macaulay during which we watched John Huston's "The Dead" which is a unique and exquisite film. Anjelica Huston and Donal McCann delivering the coda heart wrenchingly. Followed by cheese, biscuits and conversation.
Tomorrow an interview to play a psychic in "Family Affairs" - of course I know what's going to happen!

This is for Bridget 

Oops!

So I went to this other commercial interview yesterday and after filling in da form and having da flash in da face I study de script right? Luckily it was only one line, or one word actually, well not even a word really, more an exclamation. So I'm greeted by Toby and I thought - "why aren't you in school?" - but did not say it as that would reveal what a curmudgeonly old fogey I really have become. We wait a bit for the other guy to finish his important call on his hand-held palm-pod-phone-arse-wiper and then I go through the ident routine: Name, agent, profiles, while standing on the X. I then have to say "Oops" in a dozen or so different and amusing ways and we all have a jolly time except for mister important bal'head man who has seen enough actors to last him an effing lifetime. All in all it went rather well I thought.
One thing actors always get asked apart from how do you learn your lines is - "Have you got anything in the pipeline?" - Now there are many facetious remarks one could make to that, mostly anatomy based along the lines of - "no that's just the way I walk" (see I just couldn't resist it) but as it happens I have two things in the pipeline which I am not going to discuss for fear of re-routing or a blockage. Watch this space.

"Flashing....."

Well the quiz seemed to generate more interest than anything else I've set down here. Is this because of an anorak streak in bloggers as a type? - I wonder? Many thanks of course to those who wished me luck for the commercial interview but come on try harder guys - and dorothy of course - it doesn't look like I got it but you have another chance this pm. The psychological girding up of loins necessary to put oneself through these trials (become a Thing for a day!) is only just worth the lottery of attending. Absurdly one always feels like a reward just for turning up but all you get is a form to fill in order to reduce yourself to a manageable statistic not to mention the inevitable polaroid - "flashing" - Ugh!

A resource untapped

This has not yet become a habit for me although I find I can't leave it too long before blogging in or it becomes stale and edited in my head. The day and a half working on Richard Bean's play in progress - 'Europhilia' - was very enjoyable. I happen to love watching actors thinking on their feet and solving problems in an entertaining way and with a high calibre cast such as this I was constantly delighted. The piece itself is a political sex farce so technically very demanding. As ever RB's writing is incorrect in most areas so sacred cows beware as this will surely have a future life.
Tonight it's Monday so - pub quiz at The Shakespeare. I know it's corny but I didn't call it that. Our team are mostly actors so with an eclectic (I hate that word) knowledge base to draw on from lives spent flitting from one subject to another the jackpot is practically guaranteed! With our above-mentioned problem-solving skills and our vast database-style brains we are an immensely valuable resource in the world (mostly unrecognized or let down by less attractive qualities).
Tomorrow - interview for a commercial in the a.m. so wish me luck as I need the money (think deserts and water).

"One Swallow......"

Saw 'The Girl With Red Hair" at Hampstead on Tuesday. I didn't dislike it as much as my companions and it was lovely to see an old friend Patricia Kerrigan doing some fine work and also Sandra Voe who played my mother many years ago in the Lyric Studio - I was a psychopath! Had a drink with PK afterwards, haven't seen her for years and we swore it would not be so long before the next time. In fact we shall be doing some reading together on the 21st at the university in Leicester for writing students.
I leapt from my slumber yesterday got myself togged up for decorating and prepared the banisters for a coat of Cameo White gloss. Horrible job, been putting it off for a year or two. No sooner had I dipped my brush the phone rang with lovely agent Sarah asking me if I would do a small part of a Polish Archbishop in a rehearsed play-reading of Richard Bean's new Euro sex-farce, David Grindlay directing, as someone had dropped out. There was money mentioned and it's a day and a half having a laugh so I said yes. Thursday and Friday sorted - banisters only half done. Now I am not a superstitious bloke but the painting and the phone call correlation is one I have noticed before. Just imagine what job I'd get if I started to build a house or booked a round the world trip! Ten years or so ago I gave up acting altogether and I got a commercial with big money, a job at the National and a long-running part in a TV series all within six months!
I spent a delightful evening in the company of Paul Miller, he of the excellent my London life blog. He showed me his production pics of 'Democracy' which he directed in Tokyo recently. Very spare and sumptuous at the same time. The quality and intelligence of the actors shone out as well. He felt he had been lucky and was a little nervous of having to equal it next year as he has been asked back.

Oh my God it's my Dad! (Incorporating evil brain boils...)

I made myself a little showreel today consisting of my two most recent TV appearances. Donald Newman in 'The Rotter's Club' and Bob Harris (no not that one) in 'The Inspector Lynley Mysyeries'. Mr. Newman was a rather stern godfearing character searching for his missing daughter and the programme was set in the early 70s. I found myself looking at my father, his little ways, his build. It has become easier to be objective about my performances as I've got older because I just don't think of myself as this person who seems to be of my father's generation. When it comes to Bob Harris my uncle takes over; outdoorsy, scruffy loner - poacher type bloke. Not that my father or uncle neccessarily had any of the aforementioned characteristics but they would have had if they were these guys. Anyway I was pretty pleased with my edit and the perfs (am I allowed to say that?) which went some way towards relieving recent evil brain boils. I popped it in a jiffy bag and sent it to my lovely agent Sarah so she could enjoy it too.

We want somebody else

It is an absolutely gorgeous spring day. The garden is very active and fragrant. I am going to a barbie this afternoon and will be seeing my lovely daughters. A recipe for a delightful time. However this blog is about acting and I am here giving fair warning. Not getting a job that you want is tough, it gives you a knock that you have to recover from. People say to me it must be hard, this insecurity, not knowing one's future and I tell them that I've never known anything else and I wouldn't have it any other way. All true, but not to be able to ply one's trade, to work on a script, to be in the rehearsal room or in front of a camera doing what you do best is sometimes painful and there's an end to it.
I had the great pleasure of playing Keith in 'The God Botherers' a Richard Bean play at The Bush a while back. Some months later an actor who I had just seen being rather brilliant in another play accosted me in the bar and said "I was up for that you bastard, you're always getting my jobs" - "Did you come and see it?" I said - "Did I fuck!" he said. I knew how he felt.