Lurking, Larking and a spot of w**king

If you want to get an interview grow some inappropriate facial hair (see inset). Quite suitable for an Icelandic trawlerman for the reading at The Bush and I thought also not bad for the ageing hippy in the Miniaturists evening (see previous post). Lurking (not Larking) though, at the back of my mind was the notion that something would come along to force me to shave it off. Sure enough I conjured an interview by this occult method. A nice part in three episodes of Murphy's Law. An important copper from Nottingham. I worked hard on the script, got the accent down and shaved myself so smooth you could have curled a long stone down my cheek. They couldn't have been less interested, I was in and out of there before you could say "You're bang to rights sonny!"

Never mind though, never mind, the very following day I was at The Globe strutting my Tribune (in Coriolanus) before the previously unmet Dominic Dromgoole, and Roxanna Silbert auditioned my Ben Gunn from Simon Bent's wonderful piratical romp 'Under The Black Flag' which will make him the envy of many a monsterist. Big plaudits I feel should go to them for having the vision to put it on. I worked on the final stages of the development of it with Simon and Paul Miller at the NT Studio a couple of years ago and have rarely laughed as much ever. I also learned a lot of remarkable and extremely salient (and saline) historical stuff.

Last night I was taken by a friend to see Exonerated at Riverside Studios. Overrated I call it. Yes I know it is in a very good cause and Stockard Channing was marvellous as are all the other actors but I dislike intensely having my emotional buttons fumbled with in such a clumsy and to be perfectly frank bloody lazy way. They were lined up with scripts in front of them and each actor was miked up so their voices came out of the speakers like a voice-over and every time one of them spoke their overhead light came on. This is Studio Two at Riverside, what, 400 people in a room - are we deaf and blind? It was like watching a dozen audition speeches and they went on and on long after any serious point was made. And it was all about these sweet innocent people who had had their lives wasted or had been murdered by the state. What about the guilty who were murderd by the state? Is that any less reprehensible? Now that might have been a debate but this event (it certainly wasn't theatre) completely sidestepped it. I do not want to belittle the suffering of Sunny Jacobs and the others but this production was anti-theatre and the director should not be proud of drowning Stockard Channing's delivery of the author's words in stupid sound effects of police sirens and bullets. WE KNOW WHAT THEY SOUND LIKE BOB!

I may sound like I am over-reacting but I am not. This was a dead experience and not fit to lick the boots of the Tricycle's 'Guantanamo', 'Stephen Lawrence Enquiry' et al. Needless to say anybody who was anybody was there and a lot of them felt they had to stand at the end regardless of what they had seen. Muppets.